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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Life is not a party

A friend was having a birthday party last night, so I went out to celebrate. To characterize the venue: imagine "Spring Break" exploding inside a dive bar. We're talking tiki torches and grass umbrellas and bad beer and a full crowd of sexist pigs, that I personally wished were on skewers.

My friend, Beth, and I entered the bar and she was wearing short shorts with high heels. Not within two seconds a group of dudes start YELLING shit at us from across the bar, including: "Hey Sweetheart!! You gonna keep those shorts on all night, or what?!!" As if the alternative was for her to take them off? For him? Yeah, right. We were totally disgusted.

Then, a couple minutes later, same dudes yell, "Hey, hey, are you two lesbians?! I bet you're lesbians!!" Which is ironic since I do happen to be gay. But, Beth is straight and that reality was a far cry from whatever delusional porn reel happened to be going through their minds. And finally, as we had to squeeze past them in the crowded room, this guy actually GRABBED ME by the waist and yanked me toward him, saying, "Meet my friend, meet my friend!" I was so pissed, I whipped out my camera and said, "Do I KNOW you? I don't think so. Stop touching me. Why don't you guys smile for the camera!" They immediately started to back away when they saw the camera, and his friend even put his hand up in front of his face, repeating, "Oh no. No paparazzi!" After I snapped the pic, I squirmed away from them, hearing "Oh, she's too mature to talk to us!" in the background. Yeah, that's right buddy, you sexually harass us, then man-handle me, order me around, and then insult me when I won't passively comply to whatever you want. Not too difficult to be more mature than you.

But, it gets better! Oh yes. When we finally reached our group: another dude said to the girl I was standing next to: "I'll buy you a beer if you show me your tits!!!" Not kidding. The girl ignored him. I wanted to punch him in the face.

And to round out such a lovely evening, right before we left, a woman accidentally bumped into a guy as she was coming out of the bathroom, and as she said "Sorry" he replied loudly with, "YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Talk about unnecessary hostility towards women. At that point, I concluded that I was in hell.

I wanted to puke and take five showers by the time I escaped that place. I still kinda do. I will never go there again.

- Michelle, Newport Beach, CA

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